


Thanatos in the Night

by 5H1TAKE



Category: A3! (Video Game)
Genre: Assisted Suicide, Guns, Happy Birthday July it's now July where did June go, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Suicide, Suicide Attempt, Technically?, shinigami!august, songfic?, the temptation of thanatos, yūwaku no thanatos
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-30
Updated: 2020-06-30
Packaged: 2021-03-04 23:48:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 800
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25004938
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/5H1TAKE/pseuds/5H1TAKE
Summary: July had come to learn a great deal about August.In this world there are two kinds of people: those who wish to live and those who do not.Those who wish to live are controlled by “Eros” and who do not are controlled by “Thanatos”.Even in their line of work most people were the former, but the August July came to know was undoubtedly the latter.
Relationships: August/July (A3!)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 11





	Thanatos in the Night

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is inspired directly by The Temptation of Thanatos by Hoshino Maya (https://monogatary.com/episode/33827) and Racing Through the Night by YOASOBI (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x8VYWazR5mE). I suggest listening to the song at the very least as there is no English translation of the short story.

December 27th, 23:15. Without any heating, it was so cold you could feel it seep into your bones.

Despite the cold, a thin sheen of sweat could be seen on July’s forehead as he rushed into the seemingly abandoned warehouse.

August had suddenly ceased correspondence, cutting off his last message with an abrupt “see you”. 

July immediately knew what that meant.

He’d been discussing information with August from his own hideout before losing contact and hurrying to his side.

When he flung open the lab door he found August, gun in hand, with dull eyes staring off into the distance. He watched August raise the gun to his head and move his finger to unlock the safety.

This wasn’t the first time July had rushed to stop August from committing suicide.

The first time it happened was shortly after August had cut ties with his “family” to form a partnership with July. 

Since then, July had come to learn a great deal about August. 

In this world there are two kinds of people: those who wish to live and those who do not. 

Those who wish to live are controlled by “Eros” and who do not are controlled by “Thanatos”. 

Even in their line of work most people were the former, but the August July came to know was undoubtedly the latter.

Despite this fact, the unwavering affection July had felt towards August since they’d met had never faltered. He was perfect in his eyes, and could do no wrong after joining him. 

So they began working together, the loneliness July had felt disappearing into thin air, but a weight remained on his heart and strained with each attempt August would make to take his own life. However, to July, August was still his light in their bleak world.

One thing bothered him, though: August always let him know one way or another when he wished to take his life. July always took it as him calling out for him to stop him.

Which is exactly why July runs forth once more to take the gun from August’s hands.

“Stop this, this is the second time this week!” August won’t let go, and July finds himself struggling against the stronger man.

“Let go of me.” The peppy tone betrays August’s actions.

“Definitely not! Why must you continue to do this?!” 

“Because I want a quick and swift death~”

“Why-?”

“Because the God of Death is calling for me.” August finally stops struggling, releasing the gun to turn to an empty space and stare.

A trait of those controlled by “Thanatos”; the ability to see the God of Death.

“There’s nothing there, August!” Panicking, July grabs at him in an attempt to bring his attention to him.

“Why can’t you understand, July? He’s there, he’s calling out to me.” 

August always grows more and more frantic when July denies this “god’s” existence.

July deduced that to a person controlled by “Thanatos” the God of Death was the most ideal, attractive being. When August looks at this “God of Death” he looks absolutely taken. July hated that look. 

“Stop looking at this phoney “God of Death”. Look at me, August.”

“No!” Seeming to snap back to July’s grip on his hand, August begins struggling once more. “Ouch, you’re hurting me.”

“Urk-“ Shaken off but gun now in his hands, July finds himself once again awash with jealousy as August stares intently into nothingness. 

“Why...” 

‘Even though I love you so much, August, why won’t you look my way?’ 

July told himself once again that it was stupid of himself to be so jealous of something that obviously didn’t exist but deep down, under the heavy weight slowly crushing his heart, he knew that didn’t matter.

“I’ve had enough.”

July had also had enough.

“I’m tired.”

July was also tired.

“I just want to die already.”

“I want to die too!” His eyes widen the moment the words leave his mouth, head jolting up to look at August. 

‘The God of Death looks most appealing to those who can see them.’

That’s right, July stabbed August in the back that stormy night, this God of Death he’s been so jealous of was himself this entire time. 

It all becomes clear and he feels the weight on his heart lift. All those nights, just like tonight, rushing to stop August from committing suicide, July never wanted to stop him; he wanted August to take him with him.

It’s only then that August finally looks at him, smiling lovingly before gently closing his hands around July’s and positioning the gun in them against July’s temple. “You finally realised, I’m so happy.”

“Yes.” July nods back with a smile, tears streaming down his face as he presses his lips against August’s.

He pulls the trigger.

**Author's Note:**

> I had a really fun time trying to replicate Hoshino's tone and structure in English with two characters I absolutely adore. It was a bit challenging with all male pronouns and jumping tenses but I'm happy with how it turned out. Thank you to Sarah and idolthirst for doing final checks while I was dying/passed out.
> 
> I am @5h1take on twitter, please talk to me about gekka I have so many thoughts.


End file.
